Sunday, January 16, 2011

Day 50: Softest Penguin Socks

Lyla gave me these socks! I absolutely LOVE them. They are incredibly soft, cute, and they have little snowflake grippies on the bottom! The grippy socks are the best kind, especially for someone as accident prone as I am. I was actually noticing last night, when I changed into shorts for bed, that I have a whole lot of bruises on my legs. I don't recall certain incidents that happened where I was awarded with bruises, but I know that I do bump into things a lot. The worst for me are usually the hip ones. I guess I don't realize sometimes that my hips are as big as they are [sidenote: My Father always refers to them as 'childbearing hips', which you can imagine I just love]. So with my 'childbearing hips' I often bash them into the corners of tables/bookcases/counters, etc. Corner bruises are always the worst. They're the ones that usually turn crazy colours.

Once when I was a small child I was using a public restroom's handicapped stall as it was the only one open. I was a spindly little skinny thing and was maybe around the age of 7 or 8. So Gangly Girl walks into the handicapped stall with the GIANT toilet. I then proceed to undo my pants, which people usually do when they are about to use the washroom. I realized in this moment that getting up on the toilet would take a little bit of a jump up. Or at least I thought so. Looking back now I imagine I could have just sat down like a normal person, but I decided to do a little jump. So Gangly Girl, with her pants down, does a little hop-jump to get onto the toilet. Somehow my skinny little butt ended up a little bit underneath the toilet seat on one side and because I had hop-jumped I pushed the sides of the toilet seat down with my hands as my butt made contact. What ended up happening was that I pinched what little fat I had on my upper right thigh between the toilet bowl and the toilet seat. I screamed bloody murder when it happened, quickly repositioned myself and proceeded to bawl my little eyes out (not an unusual occurrence, if I'm being honest). I can only imagine what the other people in the bathroom thought of the loud scream quickly followed by hysterical crying. I personally have never been in a bathroom when someone else has made those noises from another stall. Embarrassing, to say the least, but as a child you don't get embarrassed as easily. Regardless, I ended up with an instant bruise that was bigger than my fist. It was first a bright shade of blue, which quickly turned to a deep purple. Months later I still had a faint yellow/greenish bruise.

I have learned my lesson. Don't jump on toilets.


  1. Thanks, I needed a good laugh:)

  2. Great toilet story - almost as good as your "I've fallen in and I can't get out" story....


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