Sunday, January 26, 2014

Stop the wars!

Recently I've noticed quite a few people posting a link to a photo series based around the idea of "Mommy wars". This is essentially a call to women (Moms in particular) to stop judging one another for the decisions they make as parents. This is everything from breast feeding or formula feeding, to using cloth or disposable diapers, and even how long it takes before Mom goes back to work - if she ever returns. 

I'm not sure why it shocked me to see a photo series like this. Maybe because I'm not in a Mommy stage of life, or maybe because I never really thought about the idea that Moms would care about what other Moms do, and truly think they have a say in it. Or, maybe it's really because I hoped that at this point we would all be over judging one another for any choices that we make. I mean, we are adults. Right? 

See, I know judgment is not a new phenomenon. I distinctly remember in grade school how everyone cared about:
  • What people wore in school ("Oh my god is she REALLY wearing those overalls?")
  • What people said ("I can't believe she would say something like that to her own parents!")
  • What people did in their time off ("Ugh, what a loser. Who listens to THAT band?!")     
The disappointing realization, though, is that this childish, petty mindset doesn't appear to go away. In your 20s it's, "How could she date him? He's so ridiculous." And, "Could you imagine doing that job for the rest of your life? I'd hate myself." Then once you get married, not only are you judged for what you wore on your wedding day, but for how you decorated, how good the speeches were, and even whether or not you married (someone else's idea of) the right person. REALLY??

And now, there is just more judgment to look forward to. 

Well, I think we need to stop. It's depressing there even has to be a photo series asking, begging, people to stop hating on one another. We need to love and encourage.

Life sucks. Life is hard. Life would suck less and be a lot less hard if people realized that their opinion has absolutely no place in someone else's life story. None. Zero.

So, focus on you. No one else can live your life, because you are. Live it your way. Forget the opinions and judgments of others. 

And please, I implore you, please stop judging other people for what you deem as their shortcomings and missteps. Nothing, I repeat nothing, gives you the right to decide how someone else should live their life. Do you. That's all you can (and should) control.