Sunday, January 26, 2014

Stop the wars!

Recently I've noticed quite a few people posting a link to a photo series based around the idea of "Mommy wars". This is essentially a call to women (Moms in particular) to stop judging one another for the decisions they make as parents. This is everything from breast feeding or formula feeding, to using cloth or disposable diapers, and even how long it takes before Mom goes back to work - if she ever returns. 

I'm not sure why it shocked me to see a photo series like this. Maybe because I'm not in a Mommy stage of life, or maybe because I never really thought about the idea that Moms would care about what other Moms do, and truly think they have a say in it. Or, maybe it's really because I hoped that at this point we would all be over judging one another for any choices that we make. I mean, we are adults. Right? 

See, I know judgment is not a new phenomenon. I distinctly remember in grade school how everyone cared about:
  • What people wore in school ("Oh my god is she REALLY wearing those overalls?")
  • What people said ("I can't believe she would say something like that to her own parents!")
  • What people did in their time off ("Ugh, what a loser. Who listens to THAT band?!")     
The disappointing realization, though, is that this childish, petty mindset doesn't appear to go away. In your 20s it's, "How could she date him? He's so ridiculous." And, "Could you imagine doing that job for the rest of your life? I'd hate myself." Then once you get married, not only are you judged for what you wore on your wedding day, but for how you decorated, how good the speeches were, and even whether or not you married (someone else's idea of) the right person. REALLY??

And now, there is just more judgment to look forward to. 

Well, I think we need to stop. It's depressing there even has to be a photo series asking, begging, people to stop hating on one another. We need to love and encourage.

Life sucks. Life is hard. Life would suck less and be a lot less hard if people realized that their opinion has absolutely no place in someone else's life story. None. Zero.

So, focus on you. No one else can live your life, because you are. Live it your way. Forget the opinions and judgments of others. 

And please, I implore you, please stop judging other people for what you deem as their shortcomings and missteps. Nothing, I repeat nothing, gives you the right to decide how someone else should live their life. Do you. That's all you can (and should) control.


Tuesday, October 23, 2012

cutest ever

I want this dog one day. For real, cutest ever.


This is lovely:

Let me also say that I want you
sleepy-eyed in the morning waking at my side
like a warm summer sky born from
so much softness the horizon cries every time
night fall comes to take you.
Let me also say that I want to make you sandwiches and soup
and peanut butter cookies, though
the truth is peanut butter is really bad for you
cause they grow peanuts in old cotton fields
to get the toxins out of the soil
but hey, you like peanut butter and I like you.
Let me also say I’ve never seen anything more
gorgeous than you were that night
the moon bending through the window blinds
I told time by the light casting shadows across your face.
Andrea Gibson, Wasabi

Monday, August 27, 2012


How defines success:


  [suhk-ses]  Show IPA
the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors.
the attainment of wealth, position, honors, or the like.

Success has many possibilities. Obviously what I define as 'success' could be vastly different from someone else's definition. In fact, I might feel I've attained success if I raise a family. I might feel successful if I become a Manager, a VP or the President of a large corporation. Hell, it might mean becoming the Prime Minister for some to view themselves as successful.

I feel like many people muddle through life hoping, wishing for success but not knowing what that means for them. Is success finding love? Trying your best? Earning a long-service award? Learning a language? Seeing the world?

I think success could be hard to define while I'm in a transitional phase of life - working a potentially temporary job, not finished school, unclear on where I want to live or what exactly I want to do with my degree once it's over. 

So maybe, for the time being, success could be more simply defined as being content with where I am, who I am, what I've become so far and what I am becoming. I think I am successful, even now, because I am content.

How do you define success?