Sunday, June 26, 2011
I'm back in Edmonton, well, Nisku, for work tomorrow. I'll be in Nisku while my Grandma, Grandpa, Aunt and Uncle are in France. Somehow this trade-off seems unfair. In fact - all four of them live in a beautiful province when they are not visiting France. And while, yes, Alberta is pretty - it's not the same kind of pretty as BC.
At my Mom/Stepdad/Grandma/Grandpa's place, you look out the front window and the mountains are so close. The drive to work when taking the back-roads is breathtaking, if you take the time to see it. The roads are winding, the streets are narrower, the drivers are insane...and I love it. British Columbia has mountains. Deep green trees. The ocean. Sand. Rain. Sunshine. And some very beloved family members.
Alberta also holds many beloved family members. Some things that make Alberta appeal to me are the gorgeous, colour-changing, crisp, fall air. Thunderstorms. Deerfoot Trail. Farmer's fields for miles. That gigantic, wide-open, blue sky. The Stampede. Sunshine after it snows. However, I can't stand the biting winter cold. Minus 40 with my eyelashes stuck together and jacket and scarf covering everything but my eyes is not a fun time for me. I really dislike being cold.
But, something I dislike about BC is the same complaint. I dislike being cold. Minus 10 in BC feels colder, because it's a damp cold that sinks into your bones.
Both places have their pros and cons. I think I adore both places equally. But, let's be honest. I don't think I can deal with snow forever.
When is global warming happening?
Saturday, June 25, 2011
After Boston Pizza, Krista drove me back to her house where my car was parked. We sat in her parents SUV and talked, laughed and teared up. I told her all about how I can't imagine my life without the last 10 months that we've spent together. I can't imagine my life without all the wine, Harry Potter, Gavin and Stacey, laughing, snuggling, Pride and Prejudice, parties, long drives, sleepovers and Starbucks. She has quickly, and easily, solidified her place as one of my very best friends. I can say anything to this girl and she is unfazed by it. She laughs at things that I think will shock her, she cries at things that I don't expect. She has learned to be more of a 'girl' just to appease me and my constant need for emotional girl talk. Knowing her has enriched my life in ways that I cannot even express.
It is because of all these feelings of friendship that upon getting into my car, as Krista waved as she drove off to have to face another goodbye, I broke down. I sat in my car and sobbed. The crying where your whole face contorts into this hideous mess of tears, mascara, redness, and all you can do is sniff loudly and inhale deeply in short, sharp, spurts. What I affectionately call my "ugly cry".
I am thankful for What's App - the smartphone application that allows me to use data to text Krista in England for free. I will also be visiting Krista in May of next year. Even if doing my internship in London doesn't work out, I will for sure be going to visit for two weeks. We are hoping to do Ireland -- my dream trip! -- together.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Ok, so, I went to yoga. It was a lot more...subdued than I was imagining. Next time I go (in a couple weeks when I'm back from Edmonton), I'll try the faster-paced class. It was probably good to go to this slow one first to learn some of the poses, but man I almost fell asleep like three times. I can sleep on my bed at home. I don't need to pay money to sleep in a warm room with 20 other people. I'm good doing that on my own, thanks.
I'm sure the relaxed class is nice when you are stressed though. It did make me consciously think about my breathing today. When I felt overwhelmed with something, my reaction was to stew over it on the inside like I always do. Then I reminded myself to breathe. If I focused on my breathing it took some of the stress out of the situation so I could deal with it rationally. So, yeah, I learned some stuff. I will go back.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Guys, I'm going to try yoga for the first time ever tomorrow night. I'm nervous! Nervous that everyone will know I'm a rookie. Nervous that they'll be rude because I have free passes and am not paying. Nervous that I'll fall over while trying out precarious and unnatural poses with my body. Nervous that I will sweat a lot. Nervous that I will fall asleep if we lay down, as I was warned I might. Nervous that I'll be so obviously out of shape and not flexible.
Wish me luck, friends.
Anyways, so Kaitlin is coming here in July! I can't wait! I sent a giant email to her with links to lots of restaurants in Calgary. Before I left BC, Kaitlin and I would get together every couple weeks or so and try a restaurant we had never tried before together. It was really fun. We will continue this tradition here in Calgary, however, it will be over the course of four days. The idea is to not eat any meals at home. New restaurant for every meal. PLUS Stampede!!!!!
If you haven't been to the Stampede, you need to go. So many Calgarians hate it, but they clearly have never heard me yeehaw. Pretty sure that baby could get lots of people in the spirit. Since I haven't been to Stampede in so long though, my yeehaw will likely be very rusty. That's so sad. No one wants a hoarse yeehaw. Hahaha...see what I did there? Hoarse..like horse...with a yeehaw...they're both country...like cowboys. Ok, I'm done.
Today, while at work, I was thinking about how much I like rules. Having never really been much of a rule-breaker, I feel safety in rules. My Father was fairly strict when I was younger. At the time I didn't appreciate it. Looking back I sometimes still don't appreciate it. However, I see the value in the strict rules that he placed for me and my safety. The guy loves me, that much is clear. I think that those rules, those oh-so-frustrating-life-controlling rules, are the reason that I like rules now. I don't intentionally disobey. I don't try to see how far I can get without getting caught. I genuinely appreciate rules for what they are. While I agree that some rules are silly and pointless, they are rules nonetheless and should probably be followed. My rule-following nature has probably kept me out of a lot of trouble.
Today though, I realized that I don't just like rules - I find them interesting. I was (not even joking!) reading these giant binders at work that contain Canadian and American Employment Law. They are getting me excited to take Business Law next semester! Employment Law is interesting because I'm nosy. This helps to appease my nosy nature by allowing me to know what people can, and do, wrong at work. I may have found a niche for my HR career, in the law side of things...time will tell.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Authenticity, friends. Authenticity has been on my mind lately. Likely because I sometimes have a hard time owning my own feelings, emotions, values, etc. So, yes, this will be one of those posts where I tell you all what to do and probably will suck at doing it myself. Hypocrite!
However, I really feel that people should be completely authentic. How else will people know the real you? There is nothing I dislike more than a pushover. Someone who completely changes based on who they are with. Someone who always goes along with the crowd, just to not make waves. I dislike that so much. And yet, I can be like that too. Not so much a pushover and going along with everyone just for the sake of it, but I can change myself a bit depending on who I'm with. That happens when you have 'party' friends and some super strict 'church' friends. That requires a little bit of navigation. However, my core self never changes. I am still the same girl, I just watch my mouth a little more around my church friends.
Anyways, the point is that I hope that people will just own their stuff.
Are you super emotional? Own it. (I do!)
Are you a worrier? Own it. (I do!)
Are you totally laid back? Own it.
Did you make a huge mistake that you are afraid to share? Own it.
Did you open your mouth when you shouldn't have? Own it.
Do you prefer short men over tall? Own it.
Do you prefer using swear words as adjectives? Own it.
Just do you!
If we were all a bit more authentic-ly us, we wouldn't have to worry about people not truly knowing who we are. Be yourself. Always. No exceptions. If some people don't like you, who cares! Those aren't the right people for you to hang out with. You have to find your people. And the only way to find your people, those people that really get you, is to be yourself consistently.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
I have thought many times in my life that I'm a lot like an onion. I think I've heard this in movies before and maybe even songs. But it feels so true.
Onions have this flaky exterior. Sometimes it's hard to break through it because it comes off in very small pieces. Other times you peel back and it almost all comes off at once. On the outside I have my "flaky" exterior. This is manifested in the brave faces I put on when hurting inside, the small talk I partake in, the giggles that I let out that never turn into real laughter.
Once someone gets through that initial layer there are many more layers underneath. They are raw. They are often tough to break apart. Sometimes they make you cry. But mainly, they represent a multitude of layers in my person that can be revealed when the flaky stuff is gone. My thoughts, my dreams, my fears, my experiences.
One by one these layers can be peeled away to get to the core. That middle tightly-wound section that represents my heart. My core being. My inner workings. My soul. This is a part that so few will ever know. This is understanding how and why I work the way I do. Understanding where I'm coming from. Knowing all my idiosyncrasies and realizing that they make up who I am as a whole.
I try to remind myself everyday that everyone is just an onion. Some people we will never even scratch the surface of the outer layer, no matter how hard we try. Others we will peel back layers only to find their rotten core. And still others we will peel and see their inner workings and their true heart.
I appreciate those who take the time to get past the superficial outer layers in order to truly find who I am.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Isn't she cute? I remember being young and just loving Minnie Mouse. She was cute and classy. She smiles all the time and is stylish with her high heels and the bow in her
It's been a tiresome and emotionally draining day, if I'm honest. I'm sure there will be more shared about that at some point, but now is most definitely not the time.
I did, however, have the chance to eat lunch with the always lovely Krista, who is leaving in six days. SIX. So soon. Don't even want to think about that. We chatted over lunch at Milestones. It's our favourite place to eat together, although it was slightly disappointing today.
What was not disappointing was all the smokin' hot business men strolling along Stephen Avenue walk, while we munched on our lunches on the patio. We were creeping. And let me tell you, Alberta boys do not disappoint in the looks department. Give me a guy in a suit, nice shoes, hair done, sunnies on any day. Yum. Or as one conversation went:
Lydia: Ohhh, Krista look at that whole group of them.
Krista: Mmmm. Ok, which one would you take? Middle?
Lydia: Nope. All of them. Every. Single. One......well, maybe not the one on the right. But the other five for sure.
These little gems were a gift for me from a friend who went to Disney World. I have never been to Disney World, but one day I would really like to go. Everyone always says it's better than Disneyland. I find that hard to imagine, but that is why I want to go and see it for myself.
Beneath these socks is my really comfy hotel bed in Edmonton. Those king size pillow-top mattresses are the best. I am normally a one side of the bed kind of sleeper. Very polite, you know, I share with four stuffed animals. So they get one side and I take the other. At home, I love this setup. I'm comfy on the right hand side of the bed. Always have been. However, you put me on one of those king sizes and I starfish like nobody's business. On my tummy, on my back. I roll all around that bed so that I get the blankets all twisted up in a bunch around me.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
I have done nothing at all that was of any consequence to myself or others. I woke up. I showered. I sort of half attempted blowdrying my hair. In realizing that I would likely not do much today I stopped blowdrying my hair when it was only half dry. I have not put on any makeup. I did, however, brush my teeth. That's a must. I got some breakfast from downstairs. I ate it in my bedroom while finishing Jane Austen's Emma. Then I sat and watched Gilmore Girls on my laptop. Then it was lunch. I reheated leftovers. I contemplated doing something substantial with my afternoon. Instead, I went back upstairs and watched more Gilmore Girls episodes on my laptop. Then it was dinner. I went downstairs and heated up a leftover turkey dog. Now I'm contemplating the rest of my evening and let's be honest, it will likely include copious amounts of internet surfing, or possibly more Gilmore Girls.
I love lazy days like these sometimes. I think our bodies and minds need them once in a while. Well, my body could probably use some exercise once in a while too, but I don't listen to that very often. I likely need a little more balance.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
So I've realized recently that sometimes when I speak it comes out very slow. Now I know that I'm not a genius, like an Albert Einstein or anything like that. However, I do feel that I am intelligent and should be able to carry on a coherent conversation without the awkward pausing and "umm"s that I seem to have a propensity for. I've always considered what could possibly be the cause of my speaking so slowly sometimes.
Today it clicked. It's my brain. It works too quickly. No, I'm not getting all arrogant like my brain is bigger than yours or better than yours. Mine is just fast. I am sure many people in the world have this same problem. My brain moves so fast sometimes that it's hard for me to even process a thought and form it into a coherent sentence before my brain moves on to something else entirely.
What I should say quickly: "I like your coat."
How it comes out:
(thinking) Oh, I like her coat. (speaking)"I"....oh, coats, I really need to get a new fall jacket. Maybe there is a sale at the mall..."like"...I really like that store with the things in the window. Lots of colour and pretty accessories. Maybe I will pop in there too. I can always use more accessories. Oh what was I saying?..."your"...Maybe I have too many accessories though, yeah, I probably do. I have a lot. I probably don't need anymore. But what I really need is to get gas, an oil change, some chips, some apples. I need to make a list. Where is my iPhone? I swear it was in this pocket. Oh, wasn't I speaking? Oh yeah, whoops..."coat. I like your coat. Sorry."
And the person who is trying to have a conversation with me is staring at me dumbfounded this entire time wondering how it could possibly take me that long to form a four-word sentence. It's FOUR WORDS.
Sometimes I think I'm a bit of an idiot.
Other times the brain and the mouth work much too well together. Those times are embarrassing too. However, I think I'd rather be known for not having a filter than for making conversations ridiculously long, boring and hard to follow because I can't complete a sentence without getting distrac.......oh look! A squirrel!
An unhappy froggy and a surprised/confused cow. We told my 4-year-old cousin that it was a cow and she said, "Cows aren't that colour." To which her Dad replied, "Pink cows make strawberry milk." She looked at me completely confused and all I could do was nod and smile. Hopefully it doesn't break her heart when she finds out she was right all along and pink cows don't really exist and strawberry milk is just a flavouring made out of gross chemicals and food colouring. Sigh. I wish we had pink cows to make real strawberry milk.