Thursday, November 24, 2011

Day 208: Snoopy




- love others
- make everyone you meet feel worthy of your time
- tell people how you feel
- trust
- be open to other's ideas
- be understanding
- focus solely on the people that are physically present 
- never forget those that are far away
- think before becoming angry 
- be patient
- let people cry on your shoulder
- be there for the people in your lives with whatever they need (food, hugs, someone to listen)


Life is fragile. Show compassion and love others. Always.
They may be struggling with experiences and feelings more complex than you could comprehend.

xo

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Day 207: Bear & Clouds

In class tonight I was handed a paper where I was given 1 out of 3 possible marks for grammar, spelling, etc. Normally I would take the "meh" approach and move on with my life, however, the professor started an in depth discussion with the entire class about paper-writing skills. It was interesting to hear my peers describe the struggles they have when writing papers. Commonly, we were frustrated with the University Library website for having conflicting referencing information (such as APA format stated in two different ways). Most of us haven't received terrible grades before while at University, even if our papers had a myriad of errors. I completely agree with the professor that this shouldn't be acceptable.

If someone hands in a paper that is strewn with spelling and grammar errors, they should fail the paper. How frustrating do you think it is for a professor with a PhD to read a paper that should be at University level, but appears to be written by someone in grade 8?

Obviously people make small mistakes. Myself included. I often put commas in the wrong place or use a semi-colon inappropriately. If my professors don't call me out on it though, I may never know what I'm doing wrong.

While I think that a harsher correctness policy will be hell, I truly believe that it would make me work harder to ensure that everything I hand in is of highest quality.

My prof. tonight was telling us that some industry contacts she has have told her that they often hire grads from my school for junior to intermediate level positions. For management or senior level positions, they will be more likely to hire from the more well-known, prestigious Universities nearby. This was disheartening. I realize we just became a University this year. The transition from College to University could be a long, tough process, but I don't want to be painted with the brush of only being good enough for intermediate level work.

I'll be taking this as a challenge. All of my papers for the rest of the semester will be edited with the utmost attention to detail. I'm going to see if I can change my usual A papers into A+ papers by being more careful and attentive.

xo

Monday, November 21, 2011

Day 206: Only the Ocean and Me

Ridiculously honest post:


After 5+ years of not being in a serious relationship, I don’t really remember what it feels like to be in love. I don’t remember butterflies in my stomach. I don’t remember what it feels like to have my heart broken. Seriously broken, by just a few words from the mouth of someone I care deeply for. 

What holds me back from relationships? I’m realizing, it’s me. Myself. I.

As soon as someone shows interest, I usually internally pick them apart for all their small quirks or think about all the reasons why it would be impossible with them. I essentially talk myself out of giving them a chance. I sabotage my own shot at love. At hurt. At feeling.

I want to love. I want to hurt. I want to feel. But, my own internal dialogue is making this impossible. I think my heart is scared, so my brain takes over and rationalizes my heart’s feelings. My brain tells my heart that it’s understandable, even admirable, to be scared. It tells my heart that the pain of being hurt isn’t worth the love that brings it, so why even bother? It tells my heart that no one I meet is worth the fight and that couldn't be further from the truth.

My brain needs to stop. My true heart, the heart desirous of love regardless of the consequences, likely needs to be more open.

Work in progress?

xo

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Day 205: Hannah Montana


These socks were gifted to me by a very dear friend. Obviously because I love Hannah Montana (aka I've never seen it) and because I love Miley Cyrus (aka can't stand her except that one song that I forget the name of). So, yeah, I'm a big fan!!!!!!!

I've been spending some time today thinking about how awesome it would be to live in the olden-days. And I don't mean the 1960's where I could wear bell-bottoms and tube tops and rock long hair and flip flops. I don't mean the 1920's where I could wear sparkly flapper dresses and fun headbands with feathers and nylons all the time. Thankfully! Nylons are the worst. No, the olden-days I would love to have lived in are around the late 1800's era. The long dresses. The curled hair. The bonnets. The adorable shoes with buttons all up the side. The "dances" that people attended. The lack of really doing anything all day but reading and learning about the world through books and other people. Maybe I appreciate the perceived simplicity of the time. However, I'm totally against the idea that the women were basically oppressed, had no rights, and were essentially on Earth to be wives and mothers.

I wonder if I lived in those times if I would go along with life the way it was "intended" and be a silly girl, obsessed with boys, get married to the richest man my family situation would allow and have as many children as possible, possibly daydreaming all the while that my life was different - or would I fight it and try to be independent and prove my worth, despite being a woman? Would I travel? Read? Learn to write? Play music and sing?

I'd love to think that I would try to read and learn and explore as much as possible. I imagine my wanderlust would probably still be a part of me, even if I was living in an oppressive society.

Hmmm...hoping for dreams of big dresses, tight corsets and cute shoes tonight!

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Day 204: Pink, Black & Gray


Princesses. Real life princesses.

This is what Krista and I get to be on our last night in Ireland, when we stay here:


Ballynahinch Castle Hotel. We can't even pronounce it, but we will own it.

xo

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Day 203: I'll be late for work in these socks



Intelligence. What is it? What does it mean? Why is it such an attractive quality in the opposite sex?

First: Definition.

in·tel·li·gence

 [in-tel-i-juhns]  Show IPA
noun
1.
capacity for learning, reasoning, understanding, and similar forms of mental activity; aptitude in grasping truths,relationships, facts, meanings, etc.

Does this definition excite anyone else?! Intelligent people are the people that "get it". The people that can learn, comprehend and grasp high-level information, as well as detailed information. They are often the people in class that get bonus marks for including too much detail or the people that understand what is being talked about when the speaker has barely even skimmed the surface of the topic.

I believe that one key to intelligence is being receptive to the world around oneself. Not that the person picks up on every subtle hint others throw their way, but that they actively engage in the world. In order to "grasp truths, relationships, facts, meanings" I believe there would need to be a conscious effort to be present in interactions with others. This can be in a classroom setting by listening, taking notes, etc. This can be in a friendship/relationship/family setting by focusing on the person and the conversation, rather than being distracted by other things in the room.

This is attractive in someone of the opposite sex because it shows that they take information in, mull it around, and form rational conclusions in their mind. In essence, they think. Because of the time spent thinking and forming conclusions, they have opinions. Opinions make for interesting conversation. Now, not everyone's opinion is necessarily intelligent. However, you can spot those individuals right away, because when they start to share their opinion, they have nothing to back it up. Intelligent persons will have solid, rational information to back up their thought process, or will at least be transparent about how they've formed the conclusions they have, in order to possibly gain insight from others about it. 

Those that are engaged in conversations are the most attractive. Not only does it show intelligence - to me, it shows they care.

xo

Monday, October 10, 2011

Day 202: Lemon-Limeade

Today is Thanksgiving Monday; the Monday of the weekend where most everyone eats a delicious meal with family and/or friends. Some families eat turkey, some chicken, some lasagna (as my Nana just informed me they did this time). It doesn't matter what you eat, as long as you are together, enjoying one another's company.

To commemorate Thanksgiving on this Monday, October 10, 2011, I thought I would write ten things that I am thankful for.

1) Food. My brother, Chris, laughed at me when I said this at the Thanksgiving dinner table. But seriously, I love food and I am grateful that I have access to this whenever I want. There are many in the world that do not have such a luxury.

2) School. I complain about this all the time. I complain about homework, I complain about the cost, I complain about my professors, but I am lucky to be able to attend school that will one day bring me the possibility of the career I desire.

3) My job. I am gaining experience in HR, while going to school for HR. What more could I ask for?

4) Family. I appreciate my family. I appreciate all they have done for me and all they continue to do for me. We may not agree on many things in life, we may be very different people from one another, but I have no doubt in my mind the depth of my family's love for, and faith in, me. And I hope that each and every one of them sees the depth of my love for, and faith in, them. I truly don't believe I would be the person I've become without the help and direction my family has consistently provided.

5) Slippers/Shoes. My feet are always cold. I really appreciate items that keep me warm. And really, shoes are just so cute.

6) My laptop. Being "plugged in" 24/7 is important to me. Whether it's a manifestation of being a part of Gen Y, or just a constant need to be nosy, I appreciate the connectedness to the world that my laptop provides me.

7) Men. Being single is fabulous, but being single wouldn't be half as fun without having the ability to wonder about men with other single girlfriends. So for that, I thank men. Thank you for being confusing, maddening as hell and all around a complete puzzle. Life cannot be boring if men continue to be a part of it.

8) "Me" Moments. I cherish time alone to sort out ideas in my head, discover who I really am, spend hours doing nothing, spend extended periods of time in my pajamas and not put on any make-up. "Me" time is important to my sanity.

9) Sponsor Children. Receiving letters from my sponsor kids brightens my day. Sometimes they draw me pictures, sometimes they tell me how thankful they are for me, and sometimes they ask me what my favourite crayon colour is (yellow, if you're wondering). They are both adorable and 10 years old. One is a girl named Carmen from the Dominican Republic. The other is a boy from Columbia named Camilo. I have kept every one of both of their letters and try to write back as often as I can.

10) Showers/baths. Both have their merits. They make me feel clean. I smell so nice when I get out. They are warm (or super hot) and relaxing. Sometimes when I'm stressed, the only thing that helps is a shower, or a bath, and crawling into bed. Tonight, after studying basically all day, that's where I'm headed.

There are many other things that I am very thankful for that are not mentioned in this list, but this is a pretty good list nonetheless.

xo

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Day 201: Wrapped up in Shades of Gray


Break from homework time, woooo!

I have spent the majority of today (11:30am - 4pm) doing homework for one class. ONE CLASS. I would not mind this so much if it was later in the semester when big projects are usually due, however, this project is only worth 10% of my mark, and so far I have spent over 8 hours on it. That much of my time for a measly 10% seems hardly worth it. Oh well, I will soldier on with it, since once again I am gunning for As.

While studying at a coffee shop today, I did take a five-minute break for some people watching/hardcore creeping. This is my story:


It’s just sort of cute to be studying in a coffee shop and happen to notice two people who appear to be on a first date. 
First dates are probably one of the small joys in life. Or big joys when it’s my life and there are very few of them…but that’s besides the point.
First dates are gloriously awkward. You usually don’t know the person all that well, or if you think you do, you quickly realize that there is a whole world of idiosyncrasies within that person that you have yet to see. 
This particular “couple” is fairly cute because they seem to enjoy each other’s company (smiling, laughing, excited sharing about their lives), however, it’s interesting to watch their body language. The man is sort of laying his arm across the table as if he wants to touch her arm or hold her hand. The woman is a hand-talker and is talking quite a bit. When not talking she places one hand in her lap and one on her coffee cup. Eventually, he appears to give up and crosses his arms loosely in front of him on the table...
And now I’ve realized I’ve been staring at this couple for a solid five minutes from the top floor of the coffee shop (they are down below) and I am officially a total creep.
WHO DOES THAT?!
xo

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Day 200: A video!

video

I realize this movie is not going to be winning me any Oscars, a la Colin Firth (swoon), however, it is my first time making one! Maybe I'll do videos once in a while for this blog. :)

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Day 199: Midnight Black


These socks could easily be taken as a bad omen for school. Or the stupid 5 hour break I have in my school day. Or the Zumba class I'm starting today. Or the fact that I didn't get paid today, when I was supposed to, and now I still have no money until Monday. Being a poor student again already sucks.

So let's go back to that comment about Zumba. I feel much the same about this class as I did about my yoga experience: a little apprehensive because I haven't done it before. I've heard it's fun, but people said that about yoga, and let's be honest, I'm not a huge fan. The other part I'm apprehensive about is looking disgusting for my Stats class that starts an hour after Zumba ends. I contemplated showering after Zumba, but then I have to bring a lock, a big workout bag, with a change of clothes, a towel, toiletries, etc. So I brought a smaller bag and really the only thing missing from it is a towel. So, the genius plan of bringing a small bag wasn't actually that much different in hindsight.

Oh well, we'll see how yucky I look after working out in the middle of the day and then sitting through 5 more hours of class. At least I brought clean clothes to change into!

Now that i'm done complaining, I am really looking forward to the fitness classes that I signed up for this year. I signed up for three! So working out three times a week again will be really good for me, right?! I'm hoping that by Christmas I'll look (and most importantly, feel) so much better. I was feeling a little down on myself by the end of this summer. This will help with that.

xo

Monday, September 12, 2011

Day 198: Meeowww


I'm adding a secondary title to this blog post: A World of Possibilities. Maybe that should be primary and "Meeowww" should be secondary, but too bad. The title on the blog has to match the socks. It's the rules.

Going with the idea of my secondary title though, I am seriously feeling the world of possibilities with the new job I've started. It's with a much larger company than any I have ever worked for before. For some, a large company is hell. They don't like being "just a number". I, however, don't mind at all. There are social committees to join, nice people in the cubicles around me, and a LOT of people to talk to on any given day, if I make the effort. The other reason I'm enjoying this job is the job itself. I have learned so much already and it's only been three days. My Manager and I have talked about all of the areas I will be working in, and some projects I'll be working on, and I am excited for it all!

The reason this opens up a world of possibilities is that they have already made it clear that they would like to hire me for my next two co-op work terms. Not having to job search it out and fumble around with those awkward first few days again makes me love the idea. Also, I'll get to travel again, which I love. It will mainly be in the Western Canada region (West being everything West of Ontario). It's no London, England, but this is the kicker. They have offices all over the world. So when I graduate, I have the potential to be hired at any of their offices. Anywhere. In. The. World. Well, practically. How amazing would that be?! I also have the potential to learn the ins and outs of an entire business and culture while I'm still in school so that when I graduate, a promotion is much more of a possibility.

I know, I'm gushing here, but I can't get over how this amazing job basically fell into my lap. Sometimes things are just meant to be.

Here's to hoping my rose-coloured glasses aren't shattered in the near future!

Oh yeah, and I started school again. As much as I know it's taking me places, my response to that is "ho hum".

xo


Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Day 197: The Polka of Dots


I'm alive followers, I really am! I realize that I haven't posted since July 28th, which means an entire month and a bit has gone by without me sharing the ins and outs of my life. I have failed those of you that want to know what is happening in my life. And I have brought joy to those that don't give a crap and can't be bothered with reading my blog.

I spent almost the entire month of August working just outside of Edmonton. Four weeks of hotel living. This idea of spending the month of August in another city has become a theme. Last year I lived in Portland, Oregon for four weeks straight. This year, Edmonton, Alberta. While Portland is a way cooler city than Edmonton, the people I worked with in Edmonton were fabulous! They even took me to dinner and a (absolutely hilarious!) comedy show on my last night there!

My August was filled with: recruitment, driving rental cars, Panago, nausea (also a summer theme), packing, unpacking, repacking, hotel beds, hot tubs, sunshine, laughter, "smoke breaks", baseball, random encounters with celebrities, maid of honour tasks, new and improved texting abilities, messy situations, and a whole lot of Skype dates.

I loved August. I forged friendships with many people. I had some of the more interesting experiences of my life. I gained perspective on many life situations and my own feelings related to them. I feel like I grew as a person this month. I am thankful for my work term for ending up giving me space that I was craving and honestly, probably really needed.

I can't believe this month is over. Let's go, September!

xo


Thursday, July 28, 2011

Day 196: People.


Guys, there is just a lot of war happening right now. A lot of fighting. A lot of not understanding where other people are coming from.

I, obviously, don’t have any fabulous ideas on how we can reach the elusive idea of world peace, because I don’t see how this world will ever get to a place where we respect one another, even if we are different. Where we love one another, even if we don’t agree. Where we put down weapons and embrace one another as people. As living, breathing, thinking humans.

We’ve heard many times that ‘variety is the spice of life’, and yet, we kill people over their ‘variety’: their religion, the colour of their skin, their political ideologies, their affiliations with certain countries – as if we all have a choice of where we are born.

Sometimes in Canada, where life is pretty good, we forget how much death at the hands of another happens in other parts of the world. Sometimes we turn a blind eye to the news reports, assuming that the media is sensationalizing things again. Guys, 20 people have died in Afghanistan in the last two days via suicide bombers and gun fights. 76 people died in Norway because one person decided it was his duty to fight back against a perceived impending domination of a certain religious group. There is a famine in the Horn of Africa, where a South Somalia political leader is denying the famine is a problem in his area, forcing thousands upon thousands of people to walk many miles in the hot sun, often leaving sick children behind to die, in hopes of being given a bite to eat. Anything to eat. Imagine having to choose between your two children, knowing that one is definitely not strong enough to make it to the camp because they are so malnourished that they cannot even walk. They are so malnourished that they cannot even cry.

Why can we not love each other, or care for each other? Why is it so hard for us to see past titles of what/who people ‘are’ and focus on the fact that they are people?

I don’t have the answers. I can’t claim to have never fallen into the trap of stereotyping/judging/disliking people. But, I can say for myself that I am trying. I am trying my best to love people, even if I don’t understand them. To show people I meet that they have worth, even if the world has told them that they don’t. I’m sure my own personal ‘Love Movement’ won’t bring about world peace, but hopefully it can make even one person feel more loved after having met me.

Share love. Share hugs. Don’t kill people.
It seems like common sense, but we're getting it so wrong.


xo

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Day 195: No socks

Okay, so I'm not showing socks on this one because I'm actually adding this from a computer that is not my own. Therefore, this computer houses none of my sock photos.

But, this is a story for the day/week/two weeks/whenever I wrote last. Forgive me.

Here goes:

I have this life that is sometimes unbelievable to me. I wouldn’t change that for anything. I like the excitement. I like the drama even, sometimes. I don’t crave it, but I like having things to deal with, things to keep me busy.

What I don’t like is killing things. No, not killing them, but badly injuring them. That is too much drama for me. However, this is exactly what I did yesterday.

I am working outside the city this week and am, therefore, commuting. It’s about a 40 minute drive, mainly on highways and secondary highways. Highway driving lends itself to specific dangers, such as a wheel blowing up, or an engine overheating. Perhaps one of the most common highway dangers is the danger of hitting an animal. Mostly people hit squirrels, gophers, birds, or the odd rabbit. But why would I hit one of those? No. For my first murder (or almost murder), I decide to go big. And flat. And hit a badger. A BADGER. I’ve never even seen a badger before yesterday. This thing was HUGE.


 This is obviously not the one I hit (I don't think!), but this is what they look like.

So there I am on a secondary highway, cruising along in the sunshine, music playing, cruise control set around 85km/h in an 80km/h zone. I literally did not see the badger at all until after I hit it. Cruising along and BANG and then what feels like I ran over a massive speed bump. I screamed bloody murder, as it completely terrified me. My eyes shot to my rearview mirror and I saw this huge animal curled into a ball on the road. I knew what I had done. I had murdered an innocent animal.

I quickly pulled over to the side of the road and put my hazard lights on, just in time to begin crying my eyes out. Because, what else was I going to do? I couldn’t go pick it up, it was big. I didn’t want to get out of my car because the next guy behind me might run over me like I ran over the poor badger. As I was contemplating how awful of a human I am for not seeing the animal before hitting it, I look in the rearview mirror again and, I kid you not, see the badger uncurl itself from the ball and try to DRAG ITSELF TO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD. It was obviously in misery. It was obviously in pain, barely clinging to its little life. The waterworks turned on full tilt now. I LOST MY MIND.

I could have lived with myself if I had killed it. At least it would have been fast and over. But no, I brutally wound the animal so that it has to peel itself off the pavement and drag itself to the side of the road and disappear into the grass of the ditch. I cried basically the whole way home.

I really hope I never hit another animal in my life. I feel like a bad person! Please forgive me little badger, I didn’t see you. :(

Monday, July 18, 2011

Day 194: Jailbird


Blogging every day was much easier in the fall/winter when I was in school and used it as a way to avoid doing homework. I shall use this post as a way to recap my incredibly eventful weekend.

Friday evening my friend, Kaitlin, flew in to town from her respective homestead in BC. I totally love this girl. While slightly apprehensive since we'd never spent more than a dinner or an afternoon together in BC, and were now facing a whole weekend, it turned out fabulously. Some friends you just don't miss a beat with, you know?

As she came out the doors I was so super excited and we both squealed like little girls and hugged and laughed. I think internally we knew this weekend was going to be fabulous!!

Friday night, we met up with Jadah and went to a delicious exclusively vegetarian restaurant in downtown Calgary. It was incredible (as always)! While on our walk to another friend's house, we encountered some extremely inebriated guys who asked if we would "skip" down the street with them. Let me just express how much I love Stampede in Calgary and the ridiculous antics that all seem to partake in at this time of year.

Saturday was such a fun day. Kait and I got up fairly early for breakfast at one of my favourite breakfast places, Diner Deluxe. We enjoyed delicious food and coffee. I took her on a little Calgary tour and then we went shopping. I got two dresses and a pair of shoes for under $60. Kaitlin also scored some wicked deals. It is important at this point to mention that at the TNA store we were helped by a super sweet girl who happened to have big bandages on her face. I'm not mentioning this to be cruel or anything, but later this story will come into play.

After getting ready to go out for the evening (we bought tickets to the Cowboys tent for Stampede), we were driving to Jade's and we drove past a girl in a car who had big bandages on her face too. This led to a purely speculative conversation on whether or not people were getting bottled at parties during the Stampede. Naturally, me being me, my anxiety levels rose and I was worried that someone this evening would happen to get in an unfortunate fight at the Cowboys tent and that they'd get bottled. I pushed these thoughts aside for a couple drinks and some barbequed chicken. We all traipsed over to the Cowboys tent and and had a really fun night. Tons of people dressed in cowboy/girl gear, loud music, and incredibly overpriced drinks (aka the water I bought was $4.75). While exiting the girls washroom, Kaitlin and I ran directly into the girl from the TNA store with the bandages on her face. Kaitlin (very politely) asked if she'd mind sharing her story of how she hurt her face. She definitely was not bottled in a bar fight during Stampede. She actually had an unfortunate accident where she happened to faint while on a flight of stairs -- poor girl! Mystery solved. I had more faith in the people of Stampede than to be angry types. Usually everyone is so happy at Stampede time.

Sunday we both slept in and got ready and then went out for lunch. We enjoyed a super leisurely late lunch. Then we headed to the Stampede grounds for Kaitlin's first-ever Stampede experience! We took the train and took in all the sites. Indian Village, the Agriculture tent, all the little animals, the BMO Centre, etc. We wandered around for a few hours, ate some mini donuts, commented on many people's unfortunate choices of attire. We decided to head out of the grounds for dinner and along the way saw that Mariana's Trench was doing their soundcheck on the Coca-Cola Stage. My inner 13-year-old girl freaked out. I totally LOVE Mariana's Trench. No, for serious. Love. Sigh.

Anyways, so we stuck around and watched their soundcheck. I was feeling good about this and decided to post a picture of them on the stage to my Twitter. Right after this happened I saw that the Calgary Stampede had tweeted saying if we could find them at this location (with a picture attached) that the next 5 people would get FREE tickets to the Kenny Chesney concert that night. I opened the pic and knew exactly where they were. I said to Kaitlin, "Free Kenny Chesney tickets for tonight! This way! Run!" She, being the easy-going girl that she is, just ran after me. Well, we were one of the five, because we got free tickets! It was incredible! Twitter is quite possibly one of the best inventions. I heart social networking! So the concert started 30 minutes after we won the tickets. So we hustled on over to the Saddledome and got in our seats. I was a little bit disappointed that by winning the tickets I was missing the Mariana's Trench concert, but this was also possibly a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that I couldn't pass up. Plus, capping off Stampede with Kenny Chesney is pretty swoon-worthy. We were also a little disappointed that seeing Kenny Chesney meant missing Doc Walker playing in the Nashville North tent. However, Doc Walker ended up being one of two opening acts for Kenny Chesney!!! How was our luck so incredible on Sunday? Seeing Mariana's Trench doing soundcheck, winning Kenny Chesney tickets AND having Doc Walker open for him. AMAZING. So we country'd it up at the concert, sang along to all the songs, and left feeling pretty good. As we got closer to the train we realized the fireworks show was about to start so we stuck around and waited for the fireworks and then headed home. What an absolutely incredible day! Probably one of the best Stampede days I have ever had in my life. And that means a lot, because as a 14-year-old I met The Moffatts at Stampede. So yeah, big day.

Today Kait, Jade and I headed out to Canmore for a hike. Gorgeous. The blazing sun, the exercise that I am seriously craving and chats with two smart and fun girls. We saw pristine mountain lakes, a waterfall, two guys having an impromptu jam session with their guitars, sitting beside a crystal clear lake. So chill. What a perfect way to spend a last day in the Calgary area for Kaitlin. For dinner Kaitlin and I went to Peters' Drive-In, which is a Calgary staple, then headed to the airport for a drink before she took off to go back home. Now I sit here in a chilly, air-conditioned Starbucks recounting a truly astonishingly fun weekend.

Not sure a weekend will top this for quite some time. Thanks to Jade, Kaitlin and ALL the others that made this as enjoyable as it was.

Oh, and...ALOUETTE LAKE. GOLD CREEK. HANEY PLACE MALL.

xo

Monday, July 11, 2011

Day 193: Mr. Freeze Ice Pops

Since my last post is fairly depressing despite the happy-go-lucky socks at the top of it, I thought I would post something more uplifting.

I'm posting of triumphs in school as I am proud of them. I do this not to brag so everyone can applaud me, but I do this because I am excited and am an over-sharer at the best of times, especially when excited.

Over-sharing commence:

- I found out today via email that I was selected to receive the Human Resources Institute of Alberta's $1000 Scholarship for the fall semester. The winner of this award is chosen based on academic achievement and a letter you write explaining why you want to work in the Human Resources field. I am so glad I won this award! That is $1000 extra dollars that I don't have to worry about paying -- amazing!

- When I got home today, I had a letter from my University saying that last semester I was put on the Dean's Honour Roll List. How fun is that! I got a fancy little letter telling me that I'm smart, which was really nice to hear. Especially coming from a University.

End over-sharing.

I had a really good Monday, despite my horrible dream last night, which you can read about in the post below this one.

xo

Day 192: Bringing Sunshine to a Rainy Calgary Day

Last night I had an awful nightmare. I can't even tell you all what it was in detail because it upset me that much. I was unusually angry and violent in the dream. I terrified myself in the dream so much that it woke me up. I was afraid of myself. My own rage. My own reaction to something insignificant. I treated another human being despicably, and it broke my own heart. I was frustrated and my frustration manifested itself in blind, and violent, rage. I remember that I was shaking in my dream because of how angry I was. I then woke up crying because I was so sick to my stomach about how angry and violent I had been. How unnecessarily harsh.

Then, understandably, I couldn't sleep for at least another hour. I left my light on thinking that may somehow bring about happier dreams. When I finally did fall asleep, I don't remember what my dreams were after the initial terrifying one.

A certain friend I have that loves interpreting dreams could eat his heart out with this one.

I'm pretty sure it signifies that I might be some sort of raging lunatic. Or maybe I have some repressed anger. Or maybe I'm afraid of my own reactions to uncertain and potentially scary situations. I just may never know.

xo

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Day 191: Sea A Little Blue


Living in BC for nearly six years left me with at least one empty spot in my heart. There is this one spot that has been there since I was a very small child. This spot cannot be filled with generic good times with friends. It cannot be filled with love. It cannot be filled with family. No, there is nothing that can fill this hot-as-hades-cowboy-boots-wearing-parade-watching-Budweiser-drinking-mini-donuts-eating-hole quite like the Calgary Stampede.

In honour of the Calgary Stampede which starts at the end of this week, I thought I would share some of my favourite memories of Stampede with you:

- Riding the rides, before I realized how truly terrifying it is that they set them up for 12 days, then move them somewhere else. I steer clear now, but when I was young, rides were amazing.

- The Ferris Wheel. Yes, this technically counts as a ride. However, there is nothing that makes me long for the movie, The Notebook, more than a ferris wheel does.

- Teaming up with a friend and singing karaoke. I imagine it was terrible. We were around the age of 14.

- My first time in the beer gardens at 18. The only choices were Smirnoff Ice, Budweiser, and Bud Light. I hope they have more this year than they did back then. I remember thinking, "That's it? Those are my only choices? And why do people pay $8 or some such ridiculous price for these insanely crappy tasting drinks?" What I said out loud was, "Alright, I'll have a Bud Light." -- and a Stampede monster was born.

- Inside jokes with Kate about a hot tub and being silly and slightly bordering on exhibitionism. Oh, to be a teenager once again.

- Flash hail storms/snow storms/thunderstorms/sweltering heat. You never know what weather you'll get on any given day at the Stampede. On a good day you get two of the four. On a great day you get all four.

- Wranglers. God's gift to men's butts.

- Music. So much free music. The Coca Cola Stage. Nashville North. It's just ridiculous how much free music you can see at the Stampede. This year, I'm really excited for Mariana's Trench. In years past, the Backstreet Boys tribute band and The Moffatts. All my 13-year-old dreams came true one Stampede day when I was picked out of the crowd by a TV station to meet The Moffatts backstage. Well, technically "backstage" was under the Coca Cola Stage. I have the horribly embarrassing photos to prove this venture happened. I even have the video of them singing "Girl of My Dreams" to me while I sat there awkwardly half smiling and trying so hard to look like a pretty girl when I looked like a boy with long hair in an oversized sweater. Parents of the world: when your daughters are going to concerts, ALWAYS make sure they look their prettiest. You never know when they'll meet their favourite band.

- Two words: mini donuts. There is no mini donut on Earth that compares to "Those Little Donuts" from the Calgary Stampede. Don't even try to argue with me on this one. You will not win.

- Pancake Breakfasts. They are EVERYWHERE during Stampede. And they are usually free. And let's be honest, I've never heard of a fight or a stabbing or a shooting happening at a pancake breakfast. Ever. Because that's how Calgary rolls. We put down our weapons for banjos, hay bails and flapjacks.

- The little kid cowboy hats with the whistles. I still wore mine for years after it was acceptable for me to be wearing it. I'm disappointed to say that I don't think it's still in my closet. Shame. I would totally wear it again this year.

There are many, many, other reasons why I love the Stampede. This is just a highlight reel. I can't wait to experience this all over again.

The Stampede is truly magical. If you haven't been: GO.

xo

Day 190: Rainbow Dots On Navy


I am feeling very...lazy. I've realized today that I haven't worked out in a long time. And it's really not making me feel great about my body, my health, my life. It's just not working for me, this whole laziness thing.

New goal: Working out each evening I'm here in the hotel. I realize there are only 3 more evenings until I'm back in Calgary, but it's a start. My goal after this week: to work out at least three times a week on the brand-spanking-new elliptical that we have at home. Well, it's a few months old now, but it's new to me, since I haven't even used it yet. Once I'm back in Calgary I can use up the other 19 yoga classes that I have. The plan there is to go to the one that is much harder and will actually make me feel like I did something productive with my body.

I enjoyed when I was in school and planned my workout classes around my school classes and made sure I went to them. Until the end where I slacked off because of finals.

This summer I need to bring back my momentum and carry it forward into the fall and beyond. I can feel myself gaining weight with every passing day and it's sort of depressing.

I just feel heavy, even though I'm basically the same as two months ago.

Stop. Being. Lazy.

xo

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Day 189: Lime dots

Today I have been extremely lazy. I need to pack for my trip to Edmonton tomorrow. I haven't really started. I did do my laundry this weekend while I was home, but I have yet to put clothes back into my suitcase. Which means I have spent most of this day catching up on my social networking addiction. Blogging, tweeting, facebooking, etc.

I am so addicted to social networking, it's gross. However, I also feel like it helps me. Because of Twitter, I know a lot more about what is happening in the world around me: in my city, my country, the world. Because of Facebook, I know what the people I care about are up to. Because of blogging, I don't have to write in a diary. Thanks for being the readers of my online diary, friends.

That's an interesting thought, really, that all of you essentially read my diary. I mean, it's sort of exciting, like I'm sharing personal things, but people might read it! It's like a rush of 'will this post make someone mad?', 'will people understand this sentiment?', 'are my words conveying my true feelings on this subject?' -- it's exciting!

xo

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Day 188: In The Navy


These look pretty black in this picture, however, I assure you they are navy blue in person.

I have spent the last 8 months reading Jane Austen's books. I take them slow. I read other books simultaneously, as well. I mean, I don't read them literally at the same time, but you get what I'm saying. From reading all this Jane Austen though I panicked yesterday because I felt that I am getting to that age where soon I'll be "too old" to date/get married. Like it's inevitable that once I pass a certain age I will become a crazy cat lady, whether I want it or not. I came to the realization that I could have wrinkles before I meet the guy that I'll eventually marry. Anyone that knows me, knows that I worry about everything. All the time. So this thought, got me into an in-my-head-panic:

"What if I do have wrinkles? What if he hates my wrinkles? What kind of eye creams should I start using to avoid wrinkles? Maybe wrinkles are sexy because you can tell that I laugh a lot? What if I use the appropriate eye creams to get rid of wrinkles and then I find out he likes wrinkles and I should have left my face alone?"

I know these are ridiculous fears, because, well, who even cares?! However in panic moments such as those, it takes me a few minutes to calm down. Krista helped, with her text stating: "Thinking about that BS is what's giving you wrinkles...just so you know."

I fully realize and accept that my own strange anxieties get the best of me sometimes.
I also fully realize and accept that I have no control over when, where or how I'll meet the guy that becomes my next boyfriend.

Later on in the day I was thinking about it some more, and I thought that the whole thing was a bit ridiculous. I have been successfully and (mainly) happily single for the last five years. Five years is a long time. I know a lot more about myself than I would have known had I been intently chasing down relationships in the same time frame. I have career goals, life goals, financial goals, none of which depend on anyone else in the entire world. I am an independent person. Yes, it's nice when boys open car doors, but when something major happens in my life, I don't look to anyone but myself to fix it. I am content.

So, really, I don't care if in Jane Austen's time 25 was "too old". One day I'll meet someone that I care enough about to date -- and he sure as heck will be the one that initiates.

Until then, me being me and doing my own thing is sufficient for my happiness.

xo

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Day 187: Stars Are Blind. Thanks, Paris Hilton.


I'm back in Edmonton, well, Nisku, for work tomorrow. I'll be in Nisku while my Grandma, Grandpa, Aunt and Uncle are in France. Somehow this trade-off seems unfair. In fact - all four of them live in a beautiful province when they are not visiting France. And while, yes, Alberta is pretty - it's not the same kind of pretty as BC.

At my Mom/Stepdad/Grandma/Grandpa's place, you look out the front window and the mountains are so close. The drive to work when taking the back-roads is breathtaking, if you take the time to see it. The roads are winding, the streets are narrower, the drivers are insane...and I love it. British Columbia has mountains. Deep green trees. The ocean. Sand. Rain. Sunshine. And some very beloved family members.

Alberta also holds many beloved family members. Some things that make Alberta appeal to me are the gorgeous, colour-changing, crisp, fall air. Thunderstorms. Deerfoot Trail. Farmer's fields for miles. That gigantic, wide-open, blue sky. The Stampede. Sunshine after it snows. However, I can't stand the biting winter cold. Minus 40 with my eyelashes stuck together and jacket and scarf covering everything but my eyes is not a fun time for me. I really dislike being cold.

But, something I dislike about BC is the same complaint. I dislike being cold. Minus 10 in BC feels colder, because it's a damp cold that sinks into your bones.

Both places have their pros and cons. I think I adore both places equally. But, let's be honest. I don't think I can deal with snow forever.

When is global warming happening?

xo

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Day 186: Sad Orange

These socks are sad because I wore these on the Tuesday that I said goodbye to Randi, Nick and Krista. We played our last dodgeball game of the season and then went to Boston Pizza. At Boston Pizza I had to say goodbye to Randi and Nick who were moving to England (back to Nick's homeland) for a bit and then are going to travel and then return to England for a bit longer. They will likely be gone for about a year. I cried at Boston Pizza. Other people cried too. It was just sad all around.

After Boston Pizza, Krista drove me back to her house where my car was parked. We sat in her parents SUV and talked, laughed and teared up. I told her all about how I can't imagine my life without the last 10 months that we've spent together. I can't imagine my life without all the wine, Harry Potter, Gavin and Stacey, laughing, snuggling, Pride and Prejudice, parties, long drives, sleepovers and Starbucks. She has quickly, and easily, solidified her place as one of my very best friends. I can say anything to this girl and she is unfazed by it. She laughs at things that I think will shock her, she cries at things that I don't expect. She has learned to be more of a 'girl' just to appease me and my constant need for emotional girl talk. Knowing her has enriched my life in ways that I cannot even express.

It is because of all these feelings of friendship that upon getting into my car, as Krista waved as she drove off to have to face another goodbye, I broke down. I sat in my car and sobbed. The crying where your whole face contorts into this hideous mess of tears, mascara, redness, and all you can do is sniff loudly and inhale deeply in short, sharp, spurts. What I affectionately call my "ugly cry".

I am thankful for What's App - the smartphone application that allows me to use data to text Krista in England for free. I will also be visiting Krista in May of next year. Even if doing my internship in London doesn't work out, I will for sure be going to visit for two weeks. We are hoping to do Ireland -- my dream trip! -- together.

xo

Friday, June 24, 2011

Day 185: Halfer hearts

In theory these socks are a great idea. In practice, not so much. They are made so that you can wear them whilst wearing flats. The problem with that is the part that covers the front part of your foot is too big to hide under the flats. So you can still tell that you are wearing socks. I opted to just wear them with runners, but then they kept coming off my heel and tucking under my feet. I like the idea, but they're not worth the frustration!

Ok, so, I went to yoga. It was a lot more...subdued than I was imagining. Next time I go (in a couple weeks when I'm back from Edmonton), I'll try the faster-paced class. It was probably good to go to this slow one first to learn some of the poses, but man I almost fell asleep like three times. I can sleep on my bed at home. I don't need to pay money to sleep in a warm room with 20 other people. I'm good doing that on my own, thanks.

I'm sure the relaxed class is nice when you are stressed though. It did make me consciously think about my breathing today. When I felt overwhelmed with something, my reaction was to stew over it on the inside like I always do. Then I reminded myself to breathe. If I focused on my breathing it took some of the stress out of the situation so I could deal with it rationally. So, yeah, I learned some stuff. I will go back.

xo