Monday, July 11, 2011

Day 192: Bringing Sunshine to a Rainy Calgary Day

Last night I had an awful nightmare. I can't even tell you all what it was in detail because it upset me that much. I was unusually angry and violent in the dream. I terrified myself in the dream so much that it woke me up. I was afraid of myself. My own rage. My own reaction to something insignificant. I treated another human being despicably, and it broke my own heart. I was frustrated and my frustration manifested itself in blind, and violent, rage. I remember that I was shaking in my dream because of how angry I was. I then woke up crying because I was so sick to my stomach about how angry and violent I had been. How unnecessarily harsh.

Then, understandably, I couldn't sleep for at least another hour. I left my light on thinking that may somehow bring about happier dreams. When I finally did fall asleep, I don't remember what my dreams were after the initial terrifying one.

A certain friend I have that loves interpreting dreams could eat his heart out with this one.

I'm pretty sure it signifies that I might be some sort of raging lunatic. Or maybe I have some repressed anger. Or maybe I'm afraid of my own reactions to uncertain and potentially scary situations. I just may never know.


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