Thursday, December 16, 2010

Day 23: Thursday & Peace

I really like the concept of peace. World peace. Peace in my heart. Peace among friends, relatives. Piece of pie. I know that's piece and not peace. Now I understand why English is hard for people to learn.

This morning I was doing this thing that I do sometimes where I wonder when and how I'm going to die. Not sure why this pops into my head randomly, but it always makes me a tad worried that I won't make it very much longer. I've always had a fear of being murdered. Especially by someone I love. One of my thoughts, even as a child, was "what if I grow up and then my husband murders me?" Morbid, I know, but there it is.

Recently it's been car accidents. I think it has something to do with the increase in accidents I've seen because of the snow on the roads in Calgary. I had a horrible dream a couple of weeks ago that was one of the most vivid dreams I've had in my life. I was dying in a car accident because I swerved to miss hitting someone who randomly appeared in the road. In the dream, with the car spinning out of control, I closed my eyes and said "Lord, if I'm going to die, just take me". I woke up gasping for air and crying my eyes out. I mention this dream because right before I woke up, I felt peace. And I don't mean a contented "It's a nice day out" kind of peace. I mean peace like I've never felt before. Ever. I honestly thought I had died because I felt so peaceful.

It was quite a strange dream, but since then I've been just slightly leery of driving, green Ford F-150s, and the intersection of 14th Street and Southland Drive in Calgary. If you're curious, I can tell you the whole dream some time.

Needless to say, I have not been in a car accident today, nor have I died (really?!). I did, however, slice my thumb with a Cutco knife. Anyone that owns a Cutco knife knows the significance of the name brand and understands how sharp those knives are. It makes my stomach churn just thinking of the feeling.

I am off to make dinner on my last night as a Nanny. Stay away from car accidents and sharp knives, friends!


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