goodbye to a favourite

My favourite author, Maeve Binchy, passed away on July 30, 2012. It's hard to believe that someone could feel affected by another person's passing when they do not even know them. Maybe through her books I feel like I've known her, but truth be told, I do not know her at all.

I was in Victoria, BC, last week and went in to a bookstore that is closing. Everything in the store was $1.00. I went to the novels section and the first ones I noticed were Maeve Binchy's. At one point I owned all of her books. However, when moving province-to-province I had debated, packed, rethought, unpacked, and finally repacked all the books and sent them to goodwill. I missed them. Of all the books I've read, the only ones I've ever desired to read more than once are Jane Austen and Maeve Binchy. It was at this store that I heard of her passing. The bookstore owner informed me that she had died about a week prior to my being there. My initial response was, "What! No!" He apologized for being the person to break the news to me and I simply said, "It's just so sad."

You see, Maeve Binchy was single-handedly the person that got me interested in visiting Ireland. Through her descriptions in her books of small-town Ireland, I was certain I would like it there. I didn't know until years (and 16 books) later that I would fall in love with it.

I found Maeve Binchy's website prior to leaving for my trip to England and Ireland in 2011. I found her email address on it and I wrote her an email, essentially asking her if I could meet her on my trip. But then, while looking over the email draft, I thought it silly to ask someone so famous for time out of their day to meet a fan. Plus, what would I say to someone incredibly talented with her words? And what questions could I possibly ask? In short, I felt inadequate to make such a request of her and I subsequently deleted the email draft. In hindsight, I wish I had at least tried. Who knows what would have happened.

Life is too short for regrets. Follow your gut instinct - you never know what will come of it.

For me, now, I will wait for the post-humous release later this year of her very last book, "A Week in Winter." Oh, and I'll probably re-stock my Maeve Binchy novel collection.

xo

growing up

As a child I was desperate to grow up. Inquisitiveness and always feeling older than my years added to my desire. Many have told me that I have an “old soul”, but back then, I didn’t know what that meant. All I wanted was to be 16, wearing a pink dress and blowing out my birthday candles. I wanted to be graduating high school. I wanted to be kissing boys. I didn’t understand that with age came responsibility, and the potential for a world of pain I was protected from just then. I viewed being grown up as glamorous - a life filled with freedom, expensive clothes, and no one to answer to. I could eat candy and pizza all day and dance and smoke cigarettes by night.

As an adult, I can make my own decisions on where to go, I can eat whatever I choose, and I could smoke if I wanted to – which I don’t. But being an adult brings problems. Problems I never would have known then, fears I didn’t know I had. 

When I was small, a dilemma involved asking, “which toy will I play with next?” or, “why is that kid mean to me?”. Now a dilemma may be, “which person will treat me as a toy and how will I pick up the pieces once I’ve let them and they’re done?” or, “how will I explain this spectacularly life-altering poor choice to my friends and family?”

Some days, I wish for the simplicity of being a child. But most days I wish that I hadn’t spent my childhood wishing and that I just enjoyed. In adulthood, I choose to enjoy. Every step, and every misstep. 

a new outlook

Rather than focusing on my failure to keep my sock blog going, I am choosing to see the positive side. I've decided to go a different direction with my blog; a more sustainable direction.

It was impossible for me to find the time to blog every single day. I'm an inconsistent blogger at best. Because of this, 365 days would have taken me three years (or more). Truthfully, I didn't have enough interesting things to say each day. I mean, it's hard to believe that my life is not fabulously captivating all the time, but alas, it's just not. And it was probably a tad selfish for me to think writing every day about myself and my life would be interesting for people to read.

Instead, I decided to go with a more traditional blog. One where I can express myself freely, when I feel like I want to. Yes, this is much more sustainable for me.

There will be more posts to come. More thoughts to share. More stories to be told.

Follow, or don't. This is cathartic for me and I think I'll enjoy less pressure much better...

xo

Day 213: Transparent Heart

Day Five: England 2011/2012

As mentioned in my Christmas post, Krista bought us a day at the spa. December 27th was that day.

Since most of you reading this know me, you know that I am absolutely a girly-girl. I'm not ashamed of this. I am alright with the fact that camping, while marginally fun, is not my go-to vacation. I like clean. I like down time. I like dresses and makeup, shoes and hair. I like pretty things. So, a spa day as a Christmas present was really the best gift possible.

The strange piece in all of this is that I haven't actually ever been to a spa before. 26 years without a facial. I'm serious. That's a big deal for a girl like me.

We entered this spa, called Sanctuary. You check in and they give you a little electronic locker wristband and they give you a giant robe. They also give you your schedule for the day. We each had a massage, a facial, a sleep retreat and lunch. The rest of the time is free time.

After changing into our swimsuits and wrapping up in our robes, we headed out to explore. As we walked down a staircase, there was a pool with a swing. Apparently it's quite iconic as it's been photographed numerous times for magazines, etc. This was a lounging pool mainly. Ladies just paddled around and enjoyed the warm water. There were so many big comfy chairs to sit on, including enormous bean-bag style chairs.

When you head further downstairs you enter another pool and hot-tub area, with wet and dry saunas as well. Krista and I both swam for a little bit, went in the dry sauna for a little bit and then just chilled out in chairs and read magazines for a while before our sleep retreat.

For the sleep retreat, we went into a room with individual beds with blankets, pillows and headphones. You put on the headphones and this lady is talking to you with gentle wave type noises in the background. As she started talking about going into a 'meditative' state, I was immediately skeptical. I was thinking to myself, "Oh blah, blah, what a load of garbage I will never sleep with this lady talking in my ears." She was talking about walking out to a yard with a hammock in it, then she said to walk over to the hammock and climb in.

I kid you not, I was OUT. Like, completely dead-to-the-world asleep. When it was time to wake up, even the lady speaking again didn't wake me. Krista had to touch my arm before I even moved. So, I was wrong. The sleep retreat was incredible.

After this we got to lounge for a little longer, in the huge and comfortable purple chairs upstairs. They had throws everywhere so you could just cuddle up in the lounge-style couches with a blanket and read.

We had lunch. You were given your choice of appetizers, main course and dessert. So much to choose from. I can't remember exactly what my appetizer or dessert was. My main course was a butternut squash ravioli and, oh my goodness, it was some of the best ravioli I've ever had.

After lunch I did a little bit more lounging and then went in a hot tub, prior to my massage. The massage was relaxing and I had upgraded it to an hour instead of 30 minutes. It was a really good choice.

After the massage I headed to the wet sauna. I thought I could sweat some junk out of my face before my facial. Oh god was I ever right and wrong at the same time. As soon as you go into the wet sauna, you are instantly sweaty. Like, think the most sweaty you've ever been and multiply it by ten. And then you just sit there. In the heat. With sweat dripping into your eyes. I lasted five minutes. Defeated, I showered off and headed up to my facial.

The girly-girl that had never had a facial before is a reformed version of herself. It was HEAVENLY. My face felt clean for days. I just wish I could have someone give me personal facials every day.

All in all, it was an incredible Christmas present. A day well spent for sure.

Then we went for dinner and drank two bottles of wine between the two of us and shared appies galore. It was perfect.

xo